I have a ton of crap in my house. I am sitting on top of so much clutter I wouldn’t be shocked if the crew from A&E’s Hoarders came in with lights, cameras, and a therapist to get my life on track. I don’t know where to begin, I sort though it and it just sits there until I lose something and have to rummage through sorted piles hoping to find what I’m looking for, only to make an even bigger mess. Enough is enough, I need to get this stuff out of here now!

So what’s holding me back? A lot of the clutter belongs to people who used to mean something to me. No I’m not bitter, I really have no need for these people or their things in my life. They just kind of left this stuff behind (kind of the way they abandoned the relationships we used to share, I’m talking to you former roommate!) Oh snap! Maybe I am just a little bitter but I digress. I’ve tried to get them to come over and get these items and they’ve told me they didn’t want the stuff anymore and I was free to keep it. Leave me to clean up your mess? To quote Stephanie Tanner from Full House, “How Rude!”

Going through the things and sorting them just brings back a lot of unhappy memories. My basement, closets, and spare rooms are filled with stuff from former roommates, ex-friends, and old boyfriends who I have no connection to anymore. So I’m having a yard sale Angela Bassett style from the film Waiting To Exhale. You must watch this video, the language is salty but dang this is how I’m feeling about these former friends. My favorite line, “Guess what John, You’re the Mother F***ing improper influence!” Goosebumps!!

It is my hope that by getting rid of their things once and for all, I will literally and figuratively remove them from my life. Deuces, on to the next one. I want these things out of my view, out of my home, and out of my life. To me it is trash but I hope someone else can find value in what is left of these failed friendships. So if you live in the area and want some sweet deals, I’ll see you in my back yard next Saturday! Better yet, if you have some things cluttering your heart and home bring' em sell them yourself over and join me as I sip mimosas and attempt to let go of the past, the clutter and most importantly, make some cash to support my fall travel plans!